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Before I slept last night, or should I say this dawn, I told myself, I had already done what I had wanted to do all this time - shook hands with them. So I made a sudden ultimatum, I AM DONE FANGIRLING. But when I woke up, I wanted to slap myself for thinking such. Because I’m full of post jitters that’s been leaving me breathless until now. And I know, no matter how I deny it, I will always be a fangirl at least to these two.

Scattered

The gravity takes its toll
The wind blew and it all went away
Stepped and tossed over by thousands of feet
Dried. Ruined. Scattered.

My soul wandered in a such-and-such
Doped in baby blues of mourning hearts
Pierced through the sword-like hays of angry eyes
A lost ardor in steep darkness
Consumed with uncertainties, so unnerving
And like a cactus survived in a far away desert
It dries. It thirsts. It craves.

Upon stepping, my soul cracks
A crisp, sultry sound; ringing, filling the silence in repugnant miff
Bits of pieces loosened, swept away into molehills
Unreached. Unseen. Unknown.

A part of it left behind
Dwelling with thoughts of fear of negligence
Sobbing in agony, leaving trails of languishes
And the strength lifting away from its grasp
Thousand times lighter as the paper
It accepts the cruelty of hooves, unmindful of its pain.

The gravity had took its toll
Like the leaves dried out of sunlight, my soul drained out of life
And it wandered around, with no exact haven; and it stills
Trampled. Wrecked. Scattered.

They are like…

…a group of fireflies in a dark, scary forest.
Guiding me into a ray of light peeking behind the leaves of trees.

…the wind that blows away all that is there, allowing the sun to shower me with light.
Softly caressing my skin, comforting, loving.

…the lighthouse that guards all the ship.
A safe zone.
A place where I can be at ease upon to see.

…the water in the desert.
Filling my thirst.
Giving me another chance to live in an all-lost land.

…the blooming of flowers in the midst of uncertainties.
Turning me in awe.
Leaving me breathless; so sweet, so wonderful.

…the birds in flight in the morning sun.
Cheerfully chirping, singing a song to uplift my spirit.

…the current that runs through wires.
The blood of almost everything.
Without it, all can’t seem to work.

…the stars falling from the sky.
Showering me with hope that my wishes might come true.
Showing me the beauty of the abrupt light in the darkness…

They are my north star. The brightest star in the wilderness; constant in its place.
My guide when I’m lost.
An arrow pointing where to head right.
A companion to a very unsure ending of a dark alley to travel…

They are my friends.

Look into the depths of the deep blue see. A world unknown to man. A world of mystery and tranquility. A world…at the tip of every nerve cells in my mind.

To be dug. To be discovered. To be published.

Hi! :)

And tonight, I reached the end of another year.

A year of ultimate solved and unsolved problems.

A year of ended and continued hopes.

A year that is now part of the past and to be called on future.

Tomorrow, on the finish line of being nineteen, I look forward on new hopes and wishes that can bring both happiness and disappointments in me.

I am certain there’ll be a chance that I’ll give up on whatever may come.

Lose hope. Let go.

But will still hold on on the things that I yearn to have.

And will still continue to grasp on whichever I wanted not to go.

Someday, I’ll be more than I am now. And someday, tomorrow will just be another day.

The resonant bugging of conscience flipped through his mind. He watched his everything walked away from him. He turned around, unable to watch her fading form. Unshed tears lurked through his eyes. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

He lied to set her free. She did not deserve him. A jerk like him will never be fit for a princess like her. His tampered jeans looked bad beside her lacy dresses. His old rubber shoes were trashes compared to her LV flats. He has nothing to be proud of. An origin he did not even know. Adopted parents who never truly loved him. His bad reputation in school. He was like the big bad wolf for the pretty, rich princess in a fairy tale book. He was no prince charming.

With a heavy heart, he walked away too. He fought his tears not to fall so hard. He took a step. And a step. And a step. Until he couldn’t help himself anymore. He turned to the only girl who made him lose control every time she smiled. And he immediately regretted what he did.

Because right in front of his eyes, fifty meters away from him, stood her prince charming, riding a Ferrari instead of a horse. And she was in his arms.

Right there and then, he knew, he made the biggest mistake of his life but the best decision too. And it all ends there. Where her life fits to be. Where his life fits to be. In hell.

Mom

Mom is superwoman in flesh. In reality and not just in fantasy. She doesn’t appear on TV and there is no press to swarm around her. There are no mysteries to be revealed nor superpowers to be discovered. She is just a mom with great intellect and unfathomable strength. And undying love. That is her way of being the superwoman. The superwoman to every child and man that she choses to have. The super great woman to whom, a very grateful vow she deserves.

We come nearest to the great when we are great in humility. We are all taking steps higher than the ground. We are in the world of accelerated intellect. All of us were molded for better performance and to have impeccable ideas. We just needed to learn on how to treat everything we receive properly. We should never forget that once in our life, we are born out of nothing. We grew up not having any idea on what it is to happen. We gain friends on being ourselves. We became who we are because of the people supporting us. We learn more. But we must know our limits. Never look down on people. Never boast around. And never forget where you started.

What is there to hide?

You are just being yourself.

What is there to hide?

You are doing nothing bad.

What is there to hide?

Everybody lives the way they wanted it to be.

What is there to hide?

You are born to be free.

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