Now Playing Tracks

Look into the depths of the deep blue see. A world unknown to man. A world of mystery and tranquility. A world…at the tip of every nerve cells in my mind.

To be dug. To be discovered. To be published.

Hi! :)

And tonight, I reached the end of another year.

A year of ultimate solved and unsolved problems.

A year of ended and continued hopes.

A year that is now part of the past and to be called on future.

Tomorrow, on the finish line of being nineteen, I look forward on new hopes and wishes that can bring both happiness and disappointments in me.

I am certain there’ll be a chance that I’ll give up on whatever may come.

Lose hope. Let go.

But will still hold on on the things that I yearn to have.

And will still continue to grasp on whichever I wanted not to go.

Someday, I’ll be more than I am now. And someday, tomorrow will just be another day.

The resonant bugging of conscience flipped through his mind. He watched his everything walked away from him. He turned around, unable to watch her fading form. Unshed tears lurked through his eyes. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

He lied to set her free. She did not deserve him. A jerk like him will never be fit for a princess like her. His tampered jeans looked bad beside her lacy dresses. His old rubber shoes were trashes compared to her LV flats. He has nothing to be proud of. An origin he did not even know. Adopted parents who never truly loved him. His bad reputation in school. He was like the big bad wolf for the pretty, rich princess in a fairy tale book. He was no prince charming.

With a heavy heart, he walked away too. He fought his tears not to fall so hard. He took a step. And a step. And a step. Until he couldn’t help himself anymore. He turned to the only girl who made him lose control every time she smiled. And he immediately regretted what he did.

Because right in front of his eyes, fifty meters away from him, stood her prince charming, riding a Ferrari instead of a horse. And she was in his arms.

Right there and then, he knew, he made the biggest mistake of his life but the best decision too. And it all ends there. Where her life fits to be. Where his life fits to be. In hell.


Mom is superwoman in flesh. In reality and not just in fantasy. She doesn’t appear on TV and there is no press to swarm around her. There are no mysteries to be revealed nor superpowers to be discovered. She is just a mom with great intellect and unfathomable strength. And undying love. That is her way of being the superwoman. The superwoman to every child and man that she choses to have. The super great woman to whom, a very grateful vow she deserves.

We come nearest to the great when we are great in humility. We are all taking steps higher than the ground. We are in the world of accelerated intellect. All of us were molded for better performance and to have impeccable ideas. We just needed to learn on how to treat everything we receive properly. We should never forget that once in our life, we are born out of nothing. We grew up not having any idea on what it is to happen. We gain friends on being ourselves. We became who we are because of the people supporting us. We learn more. But we must know our limits. Never look down on people. Never boast around. And never forget where you started.

What is there to hide?

You are just being yourself.

What is there to hide?

You are doing nothing bad.

What is there to hide?

Everybody lives the way they wanted it to be.

What is there to hide?

You are born to be free.

At the back of my mind.

*any person or incident in similar to these thoughts is purely coincidental*


Have you ever wondered what’s at the back of my mind? Have you asked yourself, “Is this girl telling me the truth? Was she just acting everything?”

Here’s the deal.

What if, the things that were running through my mind ceased to be freed but did not had the chance to?
What if, I’m supposed to say no, but I said yes instead?
What if I just so wanted to punch the day lights out of you but then, I just smiled?

Will you be able to accept the truth behind the mask?

Here’s another deal.

I smiled at you even if I’m so irritated inside.
I held your hands even if I wanted to flinch so bad.
I sighed secretly even if I wanted to groan exasperatedly.
I giggled at your jokes even if I wanted to whine at your face.
I chose to be with you even if I wanted to turn my back off and leave you out of reach.

You may ask, why?


If I tell you the reasons why, will you contemplate and be able to understand?

Here’s your deal.

You are so being like the perfect one or whatsoever.
You judged so easily, giving side comments that are offensive.
You expect everyone to be the person you wanted them to be (not entirely though).
You have the tendency to throw tantrums in small things that did not passed your liking (even if it’s not intended).
You act as if I always do bad (like being preserve and distant).
You are becoming too hard to please.

Did you notice?

No. Of course not. You think there is nothing wrong with you.

Spare me some time. I so badly wanted to tell you this. My mind was so full of screams of frustrations of controlled anger.

But no. I don’t want to lose you.

These, will just stay and forever will stay at the back of my mind.

A loveletter

The End.

Do you remember these two words? They were the things that you said to me before you walked away. They were the things that shattered me into pieces; drove me to almost losing my sanity. They were the things that made me cry. It was you, saying ‘the end’.

Good stories in books was ended by the same two words. You said not-so-good stories doesn’t have endings, they have continuations. You knew it, I know, because you’re a writer. You wrote our love story in the stars. Telling me that it will never end, will never reach its end. Because our love, according to you, is continual, infinite, beyond the universe. Now I know why.

Was there a place beyond the universe? I wanted to go there. Who knows? You might be waiting for me in that place, giving me the chance to walk on my own, testing me if I could make it on time. Mind you baby, I’ve already started the long run.

I tripped and fell many times into rough roads. Made my way into broken bridges. Walked pass through impossible humps. Swam across deep rivers. And I’m feeling a little tired my sweet, because the journey is not so easy. But I made a promise haven’t I? I will search for you through a thousand world and ten thousand times. I have to smile at that. You knew I’m not good at quoting but definitely, it means the same as what the line in the movie (47 Ronin, ring a bell?) had shown.

I miss you darling. I miss the sound of your voice and the feeling of your lips against mine. I miss your laugh and the way you smile. I miss the bouquet of roses and sweet candlelit dinners. I miss being your girlfriend. Do you feel the same? I wished so. Because I’m not that certain towards your feelings. Tell me baby, did you forgot me already? I’m having a hard time forgetting you. Please come back.

I still remember the first line you told me, you know? Hey. That was your way of starting a conversation with me. And then you start to blabber. And then you’ll make your way. And the you’ll flutter your eyes so cute it charmed me all the way out. Remember those? That’s how you got me.

Where are you? Am I still too far? Or just a few more step and I will reach you soon enough? Wait okay? Don’t look around searching for someone you think would make you happy. Baby, I’m the only one who can make you happy endlessly. Don’t worry, I think, I’m near. Please don’t get tired of waiting. I promised. I’m near.

There was this cliche road in front love. Which direction should I take in my love? Will you be waiting at the end of the road I’m going to choose? Baby, I’m glad. I’m taking this smooth one. I told you, I’m a little tired of the other road. You knew what I mean when I say little, right?

I hope to meet you soon my love. I’m starting a new journey for the both of us. I want to live happily, I don’t want an ever after with you though. It’s infinitely and continual, just like what you said. Beyond the universe.

Will you allow me, my darling to rewrite our not-so-good story to turn into good one? And like the good stories that you had written, even if our beginning is not as pleasant as it is, our story will end just the way I started this letter. Well, I hope so.

Julius Ceasar was the leader of Rome and created the Julian Calendar. But he was betrayed by the people he trusted the most.

Napoleon was considered as one of the greatest commanders of all time and was known for his Napoleonic Code. But he lost in the end.

Mahatma Gandhi was popular for leading a nonviolent movement against civil rights and was called The Father of the Nation in India. But he was killed by his own race.

Martin Luther was a Catholic priest who led movements against civil wars the holy way and has followers known as the Lutherans. But eventually died because of terminal ill.

See the irony of life? The greatest heroes made a history, had saved many lives and the reason for independence of some nation, but they had been withheld with a not-so-tragic death. They did nothing but kindness, still, they received such unfair endings. Why do they had to die or lost or disappear in a painful way? Death is inevitable. And the way of dying was decided by destiny. How cruel destiny is. He lacks consideration and has no heart.

Do you agree?

Let me ask you this, do you wanna be a hero?

I hope not.

Because if you would ask me.

I don’t.

Everything is without beginning and without end. All things are composed of same solitary, never-ending, never created eternal being. Everything that exists and eventually does not exist has no direction on what will happen next. Things you once had will never cease, it will always be there, whether you are holding it or not. The explanation is that, when you hold a thing and claimed that it is yours, it will always be yours. Even if someone will grab it from you, the idea of having it will always be in your mind. And it will never end.

For instance is the idea of grasping for words. When did it happened that suddenly, there are words rummaging your mind? When did words started invading your whole being, pushing you to pen them? And when you started to write, have you ever wondered who was the man who first wrote that word? Or how did he conceived it? Or how that word developed? Where did it came from? Did it came from God? How did God knew? Where did he get it? The flow of this will end in the “how it began”. Until there’s no concrete answer to be answered. It will always be left hanging.

Another is the idea of dying. They always say that there is life after death. And after death, you lived. And then, you die again. Then there is again life after death. You lived, and then you die. Then there’s life after death once more. You lived and die once more. When will this end? Whether you’re living in Heaven or Hell, the idea is, it doesn’t end there. There is always the continuation of every ending. And so, there’s no ending at all.

This explains that the reality of world should be understand fully with the mind of every person. There’s no concrete explanation on unusual things happening in this extraordinary world. It is just a matter of having faith on what the mind sought to believe.

Cause when I look at you
My world stops in haste
And the noise dies down
And everything is blur

And when you smile at me
No anything matters
I can see only you
My eyes are stuck on you

And when I hear your laugh
I can’t help but smile
My spirit begins to quiver
And my belly starts to churn

And when you give me wink
I die without you knowing
Cause a little move from you
Is enough to make me still

What am I suppose to do
If I look like a love sick puppy
Always ogling under your feet
I’m kinda feeling a little creepy

So please stop moving for once
Smile not too sweet nor laugh not too hard
Cause I’m near becoming insane
I want to have my normal life back.

We make Tumblr themes